chapter 7

 I'm a motherfuckin' train wreck I don't wanna be too much But I don't wanna miss your touch And you don't seem to give a fuck I'm a disaster. I don't want to be too much. But I don't want to miss your touch. And it seems you don't care.

Even though what Putt said made me think things in my head, I didn't worry too much about it either. Isn't it a very ugly thing to believe someone's gossip without even giving the person involved the opportunity to defend themselves or clarify? Besides, so far Phi Jane has been a very good senior to me. Everything he has shown has no relation to what Putt said. I have seen it myself with my own eyes, so I decided not to give any importance to that at all. Sometimes Putt

he is simply crazy or just says anything. After having been friends for so long, I already know him.

"How’s it going? Did you sit in the front today?"

"I came to save a seat for Ruk. He said if he sits in the back, he can’t see anything." Just as I was thinking about Phi Jane, he appeared to greet me. Then, the tall guy dropped into the seat beside me—the one I hadn't reserved for Ruk.

He leaned back on his arms and his belongings, still smiling while looking at me.

"Sitting in the front is good. That way we concentrate on the class. Otherwise, you’d surely spend the whole time on your phone..."

"Oh, does Phi Jane have eyes in the back of his head? Because I’m always sitting in the back and he doesn't even see me."

"I don't need eyes in the back. Every time I turn around, I see you with your mobile in your hand."

"Bah, just a little bit. Normally I do pay attention!"

He let out a soft chuckle, and I ended up laughing with him. Since we arrived very early, there were only four or five students in the room. Then he moved the thumb of his right hand and touched my cheek.

"This highlighter really sticks well, doesn't it?"

"Eh? Is it still not erased? I didn't even remember... I was so busy today with the exam and everything."

"It's still there, well marked," Jane said with a smile. I gave him a nudge on the shoulder, but he didn't even flinch.

"It’s your fault, Phi! Why did you write on my face, eh?"

"That means you didn't even look..."

"...in the mirror before coming to class."

"I did look! But I only looked at my hair. I didn't see the mark on my cheek."

"Idiot."

He messed up my hair again. I’m starting to think my hair is his favorite toy.

"Hey, Phi Jane... about the gift."

"The gift?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. NamKing... you know her, right? The girl from my group. She asked me to give this to you." I took the small box out of my bag and handed it to him.

Jane looked at the box for a few seconds before taking it. He didn't look excited or surprised; his expression remained neutral, almost cold.

"She likes you," I added, feeling the need to fill the silence.

"I know."

"You know? Did she tell you?"

"No. But it’s obvious. The way she looks at me, the way she acts when I’m around... I’ve seen it many times before."

I felt a bit bad for NamKing. She was so nervous and excited about this gift, and here was Jane, reacting as if it were just another Tuesday.

"Are you going to open it?"

"Later." He put the box in his bag without another word.

The class started shortly after. Throughout the lecture, I couldn't stop thinking about what Putt had told me earlier. Cold fire. Was Jane really like that? He seemed so warm and friendly to me, but the way he just brushed off NamKing’s gift made me wonder.

After class, Jane waited for me at the door.

"Are you going back to the dorm?"

"Yes. I’m exhausted after that exam."

"I’ll drive you."

"No, Phi, it’s fine. I can take the shuttle."

"I said I’ll drive you, Jane. Don't argue."

His tone was firm, leaving no room for refusal. We walked to the parking lot in silence. When we got to his car, he opened the door for me—something he did occasionally, which always made me feel a bit flustered.

As he was driving, the atmosphere inside the car felt different today. He wasn't teasing me or messing with my hair. He was focused on the road, his expression serious.

"Jane."

"Yes?"

"Don't listen to everything Putt says."

My heart skipped a beat. How did he know?

"He doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does. And he certainly doesn't know what’s going on between us."

"Between us? There’s nothing going on, Phi. We’re just seniors and juniors... and friends."

"Is that what you think?"

He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned off the engine. The streetlights cast long shadows inside the car.

"I don't treat everyone the way I treat you, Jane. Surely you’ve noticed that."

"I... I thought you were just being a good senior."

"I have dozens of juniors. I don't button their shirts for them. I don't draw on their faces. And I certainly don't drive them home every night."

I didn't know what to say. My hands were shaking slightly.

"Putt is right about one thing," he continued, leaning closer to me. "I do collect. But I don't collect money, Jane."

"Then... what do you collect?"

"Interest."

His face was inches from mine. I could smell his cologne—a mix of wood and something fresh. It was intoxicating.

"And you, Jane... you’ve accumulated a lot of interest lately."

Before I could process what he meant, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. It wasn't like the movies; it was sudden, intense, and over in a heartbeat.

He pulled back and looked at me, waiting for a reaction. I was frozen, my brain struggling to catch up with what had just happened.

"You... you kissed me."

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to. And because I think you wanted it too."

"I didn't! I mean... I don't know!"

He laughed, a genuine, warm laugh that broke the tension.

"You’re so easy to read, Jane Lek. Your face is as red as a tomato."

"Shut up! Take me home!"

He started the car again and drove the rest of the way to my dorm. When we arrived, he didn't get out this time.

"See you tomorrow, Jane."

"Yeah... see you."

I practically ran out of the car and into the building. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst.

The next morning, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I sat in the cafeteria with Gap, trying to act normal, but I was failing miserably.

"What’s wrong with you? You’ve been staring at that spoon for ten minutes," Gap said, poking my arm.

"Nothing. Just tired."

"Liar. Did something happen with Phi Jane?"

I hesitated. Should I tell him? Gap was my best friend, but this felt so personal.

"He... he kissed me last night."

Gap’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He slammed his hand on the table, making the forks jump.

"I knew it! I knew he liked you! Tell me everything. How was it? Was it like in the series?"

"No! It was weird! And sudden! And now I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean 'what to do'? He likes you, you like him. It’s simple."

"It’s not simple! What about NamKing? And what Putt said?"

"Forget about Putt. That guy is always dramatic. And NamKing... well, she’ll get over it. You can't help who you like."

I spent the rest of the day in a daze. Every time my phone buzzed, I jumped, thinking it was a message from him. But he didn't text me all day.

By the time the evening class rolled around, I was a nervous wreck. I entered the room and saw him sitting in the same spot as yesterday. He looked up and smiled—the same teasing smile as always.

"Hey, cute boy. Did you wash your face?"

I touched my cheek instinctively, then realized he was joking.

"Yes, I did."

I sat down next to him, my heart doing that weird fluttering thing again. He reached out and grabbed my hand under the table.

"You’re still shaking," he whispered.

"It’s cold in here."

"Liars get punished, Jane."

He squeezed my hand and didn't let go for the rest of the lecture. I couldn't focus on a single word the professor said. All I could think about was the warmth of his hand and the way he looked at me.

I only stared at those dark eyes so close, stunned.

And the only thing I saw reflected in them was my own image.

"Did you understand now, you idiot?"